I cannot even begin to quantify how many times this has happened to me. Especially in the past year, which has been the toughest year for me in terms of mental illness. The spring semester was when I had the hardest time making it to my classes and other responsibilities.
I can recall the days I would get up for class and not want to go. I greatly value my education so it was quite hard for me to experience no sense of purpose with my classes. I felt I was merely taking them to further complete my degree. There was also a sense of fatigue. On average I slept 9 hours or more a night so I had no reason to still be tired in the morning. This was part of the heavy depression I was going through at that time. It makes you exhausted for no reason, which can make it even more difficult to be motivated. I procrastinated so much. Sometimes I question if getting straight A’s was a dream. I don’t know how I pulled it off while being weighed down, but in the end it led to a nice victory.
It is difficult to leave that bed at times. Still is. But I know of one motivation that still keeps me going, and it’s what I believe helped me through this last year: people. And it’s more than me being a human relations major. I work so I may not disappoint others, because that would lead me to be disappointed in myself. That may be weird but that’s how I feel and that is my truth.
I don’t necessarily make good grades for my benefit (honestly, I hate the standard American grading system), but I do it for my teachers, to prove to them their investment in me meant something. That I made the most of their class.
I leave my bed to spend time with the people I love. Our time with each other grows more and more precious to me as I grow older and see the truth about life and how little time we have. If I didn’t do that, I would be one lonely person for the rest of my life.
I leave my bed so I may give back to my university’s community through leadership and service. Often, the anxiety makes it so painful to do that but I have to keep reminding myself that it’s for them. I want to invest in them, but I have to throw off the covers in order to reach that goal.
For those of you out there that also have a rough time getting out of bed, I encourage you to search for your motivation. It’s whatever works for you so you may lead a healthier lifestyle.
Just a reminder: it’s also self-care to stay in bed! We all need that time to ourselves to relax and charge our batteries. But if it starts to negatively intervene in your life, that is when it begins to be unhealthy.