Well everyone, the 4th of July gave me a panic attack.
I ended up at a get together while in Texas with my boyfriend and his family. There were fireworks that were way too close for comfort for me. While I thought they were miraculous and beautiful, the loud noises- that popping- over and over again got my heart racing in a bad way.
I’m really bad at being surprised. A popper was thrown near me and it set me off into a panic attack. I went back to the lawn chairs to sit down and try to relax it off but the fireworks kept going off all around the neighborhood and I couldn’t concentrate on feeling better.
I started tearing up and I felt so embarrassed. Sometimes I do get frustrated with my mental illness. It’s a constant battle between me and the anxiety and depression. But I have to remember how strong I am, even if I’m feeling weak. I’ve been living with this for the majority of my life. Obviously I can survive.
It really stinks to be in an unfamiliar place that you can’t do the proper self care. From now on I know to always try my best to come up with a plan to deal with anxiety, no matter what situation I’m entering.